Tuesday, August 3, 2010

The uncertainty of next week...

I am such a planner.. a planner to the max. I am constantly making check-list and sticky notes are my new bff. I am use to knowing exactly what I am doing and where my life is going. I mean in all reality the past 22 years of my life have been darn predictable. In school i always knew that the following year i would be moving on to the next grade. I would continue to twirl baton and hang out with friends. Once i got to college it was close to the same.. just a little more freedom and fun. But when it all came down to it.. i was still going to classes, twirling baton, and hanging out with friends. Life has been a pretty fun and smooth ride. Everything pretty much falling right into place... just how i like it..just how i need it.

Life is now different, I know that tomorrow i will go to my school and do the thing i do best and love to do...teach my little heart out and i will love every second of it. I will continue to do so for 3 more days then.... then what? Exactly i have NO plan..me? No plan? Shocking.... i know. i always have a plan and i always know what is just around the corner. This time it is different. I have no idea what i will be doing 1 week, 1 month, 1 year from now. Will i find a job? In PA? In NC? Will i be working two minimum wage jobs to try and save money? Will i be living at home? In an apt? With Luke? I seriously have no idea... and i hate it. Yes hate is a strong word but it def fits the way i feel.

I have not been myself lately. I am constantly thinking about the unknown and the future. I am the master planner and not knowing where and what is in store for me is making me miserable. I am not necessarily scared of something new and exciting at this point i would love it.. but i am scared of not knowing and i am scared of the uncertainly. I am a worrier and sometimes i worry that i will never know what is next. Then i slap myself and give myself a little wake up call and say "Alyssa, one day you will have a grip on this thing called life and the real world".....i hope.

So here i am on the long road of life... not knowing where i will be just a few days from now. I need to sit back, relax, buckle up, and have fun on this road trip called life.

Lyss:)
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4 comments:

  1. AmberAugust 4, 2010 at 1:47 AM

    Hi Lyss! Thanks for stopping by--I'm your newest follower :)

    I totally get you on the needing to have a plan approach. I used to be the same, and I found out that it did me no good because I worried way too much! I had my life all mapped out and it's certainly not laying out that way. Grrrrr...but...it's my life and I am happy. Just feel like I wander aimlessly sometimes...it all works out in the end somehow. :) Have a great week!
    http://www.thestrobel3.blogspot.com

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  2. DAugust 5, 2010 at 8:01 AM

    Lyss, I completely understand needing a path. I just try to remember everything happens for a reason and works itself out. You will find a great job when the right one is ready for you. And, the good thing, you have a wedding to keep you busy.

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  3. Kylie McAugust 9, 2010 at 6:14 PM

    i know this is easy 4 me 2 say, but everything's gonna be alright. just keep doing what ur doin by applying, have a plan to get you by until something better comes along, and never give up. God has a plan for you. :)

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  4. EricaAugust 11, 2010 at 11:08 PM

    I am in the same exact spot right now... way more questions than answers! You just have to keep faith that God has a plan and He is leading us on our path!

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