Wedding talk time. YAY! wrong. I am still engaged and i am still very much in love and can't wait till the big day, although the planning and wedding talk got pushed to the way side with teaching, i think about it everyday!
Onto baby mama drama story (not really baby mam drama.. just drama but that doesn't sound as cool). Background info: I have a dad and a step dad. My dad was a good dad till i was 12. My step dad came into my life when i was 10ish. My dad and i have had a rocky relationship since i was 13. He made some choices that I did not agree with. (choosing the bar and gambling over family). He was constantly in the bars spending money "he didnt have". The calls were far and few between and the visits were even more rare.. i mean 1 mile away is just so far away. I cant remember the last time i recieved a b-day gift, a highschool/college graduation gift, an offer to help me move (4times), a call to make sure i made it home okay.. the list goes on. Now my step-dad did HELP provide for me finically and made sure i never went without. Helped me move every time i moved, called to make sure i made it home, and for the most part had my best interest in mind. My dad did not offer 1 dime towards college, heck stoped paying support the day i turned 18 and even bitched that he payed for the whole month when for 5 days i was 19!!!! ARE you KIDDEN ME?? ASS. Now i won a scholarship and i got to put it in the paper, my mom filled it out and sent it in.. and she put me the daughter of her and my step-dad. NO dads name and my dad hit the roof. Did i do it no? Was i mad she did it? Not really... am i who i am today because of any help to him? Not really. Okay enough background info.
I get a call on fathers day from the step-mom. I was surprised because i had called my dad earlier that day..so why would she be calling? Welp.... "Its fathers day and i have a question...Who is walking you down the aisle?" [[What the hell its 2 years away and i knew this was coming but this soon really? really? GOD]] "Well i haven't thought about it really [lie]. but i would have both because they both played a father role in my life" "Well your dad cant take that, and if hes not the only one im booking him and i a trip that weekend" "Well its my day, my decision and if he is not going to be an adult about it then i dont want him there"
The convo goes on for an HOUR! and i am stunned that SHE is calling me about this. Its between my dad and I and we will talk about it. But as far as im concerned i made my decision and im sticking to it. If my father does not show up to my wedding im going to hurt inside. I know he wasn't the best, but hes my father. But on the other hand if hes going to act childish (and prove to me WHY he hasn't earned the right to be the only one to walk me down the aisle.. then so be it).
I plan on talking to my dad when i get home and letting all my feelings out. (ones from years ago). If he chooses not to attend, it his lost and regret. I could never not see my step dad not participating in my special day.
Ugh. well see. Situations like this only make us stronger.
wow tough but i totally understand your situation and I think your right about its your decision and your father should handle that as an adult.
ReplyDeleteAnother problem your probably going to have is the father daughter dance. mm
good luck!! always stay with your gut instinct
there is a huge difference between someone that is a dad and someone that is a father. the one that was there for you is the one who really has the right. just because someone has the title father does not make them a dad!
ReplyDeleteyour step dad would be so hurt if he didn't get to participate after taking care of you, and really he should be the one you feel the most obligation too, not your father.
my 2 cents for what it is worth.
i get it now (from fb). i'll be calling to talk soon. just think about these things until then...
ReplyDelete1) your wedding is 2 yrs away, why get stressed about it now?
2) this is b/t u and dad, NO ONE else (that includes stepmom, me, family, friends, and even your mom)...you 2 need to have a one-on-one talk w/o anyone influencing your thoughts and/or decision.
3) your wedding day is YOUR day, don't let anyone ruin it for you.
4) although i understand, believe me, i do, BUT dad is your dad, so he should be included. but i know a thing or two about stepdads stepping up to the plate and being there, so stepdad earns a role too. if i would've done things the traditional way, i would've asked dad and stepdad as well.
we'll talk in greater detail soon!
love ya!!!